During my five years of studies many people asked me a simple and justified question: ‘Why Swedish?’ At the very beginning I was asking myself the same question, while sitting in classes during the first few months I very rarely understood what was being said. When I was starting my studies my knowledge of Sweden was mainly limited to the well-known stereotypes, many of which later turned out to be untrue. My knowledge of the language was non-existent. So what made me decide blindly to commit myself to five long years of analysing not only Swedish grammar, but also descriptive Swedish grammar, the history of Swedish language, the age of the Vikings, the wars of the kings, Strindberg’s dramas, Strindberg’s life, Strindberg’s artistic dilemmas, Strindberg’s fun with the camera, Strindberg’s marital problems, the musicality of Tranströmer’s poems, Nobel prize winners and losers, the charms of the untranslatable ‘fika’, 30 ways to prepare herring, and many, many more? (only 15 people know, how much stuff there really was...) This time the reply is simple: a passion for languages. A belief that languages really are windows to the world.
And five years ago the reply I gave to anybody interested was the following: ‘I’m interested in languages, I want to learn a language less typical than English or German. Besides, there’s something enchanting about Scandinavia...’
Five years later many people asked me a different question: ‘Why are you going to Spain, and not Sweden?’ Well, as a matter of fact the reply is once again very simple: ‘I’m still interested in languages, I want to learn a new, non-Germanic language. Besides, there’s something enchanting about Iberia...’
But today I’m not asking myself the that question. Another question, a much more important one, has taken control of not only my mind, but also my heart. Why? Why am I going? Why am I leaving? Why am I looking forward so much to the moment I leave the country where I was born and where I grew up? Why do I want to leave behind everything and everybody that I have in Poland?
I could tell myself, ‘Well yeah, my passions are languages and different cultures...’, and calmly keep packing my suitcase. But this time this reply is not enough. The truth is I’ve left for many other reasons. Reasons which I’m still, every day, trying to name and understand . So far in the box with answers there is both a selfish disappointment with Polishness as well as the need to develop Polishness on my own; an enormous urge to try living somewhere else, fear of living somewhere else and an enormous need to overcome that fear; pointless stubbornness to see for my own that the world is round; an appetite, which has been growing gradually with all my travels; a challenge I set myself to see if I’ll sink or swim in the deep and unknown waters. As well as many other so far unnamed, little dreams.
And five years ago the reply I gave to anybody interested was the following: ‘I’m interested in languages, I want to learn a language less typical than English or German. Besides, there’s something enchanting about Scandinavia...’
Five years later many people asked me a different question: ‘Why are you going to Spain, and not Sweden?’ Well, as a matter of fact the reply is once again very simple: ‘I’m still interested in languages, I want to learn a new, non-Germanic language. Besides, there’s something enchanting about Iberia...’
But today I’m not asking myself the that question. Another question, a much more important one, has taken control of not only my mind, but also my heart. Why? Why am I going? Why am I leaving? Why am I looking forward so much to the moment I leave the country where I was born and where I grew up? Why do I want to leave behind everything and everybody that I have in Poland?
I could tell myself, ‘Well yeah, my passions are languages and different cultures...’, and calmly keep packing my suitcase. But this time this reply is not enough. The truth is I’ve left for many other reasons. Reasons which I’m still, every day, trying to name and understand . So far in the box with answers there is both a selfish disappointment with Polishness as well as the need to develop Polishness on my own; an enormous urge to try living somewhere else, fear of living somewhere else and an enormous need to overcome that fear; pointless stubbornness to see for my own that the world is round; an appetite, which has been growing gradually with all my travels; a challenge I set myself to see if I’ll sink or swim in the deep and unknown waters. As well as many other so far unnamed, little dreams.
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